Mario: Princess Peach Drives Bowser Insane
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: One-Shot Complete! Prepare to see a whole new side of Peach as she drives Bowser loony after he captures her and takes her prisoner in his own castle. Rated T for language. Review and get a cookie!


**Story**: Mario: Princess Peach Drives Bowser Insane  
**Authors**: Master Jin Sonata  
**Written**: August 16, 2009  
**Genre**: Humor  
**Rating**: T (Language)  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Nintendo or its bratty princess and tormented lizard king.

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**One Shot: Mario: Princess Peach Drives Bowser Insane**

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**Bowser's Castle**  
**9:46 PM**

**SLAM!!!**

The main door to Bowser's compound flies open, and inside steps Bowser, with Princess Peach mounted over his shoulders. Peach didn't seem too concerned she's been captured, really, as she was doing her make-up behind his back.

Entering his kitchen, Bowser plops the princess down onto a chair.

"**Alright toots, that blasted plumber Mario will be here in the morning looking for you. Until then you keep quiet until I face him in battle upon his arrival,"** Bowser said to her before leaving the room.

"**Like…whatever, ugly…"** Peach said, rolling her eyes as she continued to apply her make-up.

**Bowser's Den**  
**11:00 PM**

A while later, Bowser steps into his giant den, ready to watch his favorite evening program. However, Peach was already there, sitting sideways in his favorite armchair, flipping channels out of boredom.

"**Hey toots, move it! I want to watch my show!"** Bowser growls at her.

**"Oh go eat a breath-mint, reptile, I got here first,"** Peach says to him.

"**That's it, you're outta here!" **Bowser says, reaching toward her and grabbing her leg.

"**Ew, get off of me you creep!"** Peach responds as she kicks Bowser straight in the face with her heels, causing the large green reptile to stumble backwards and crash through a wall.

Peach resumes flipping channels as if nothing had happened.

**Bowser's Kitchen**  
**12:08 AM**

Bowser, after bandaging his head from the collision into the wall earlier, heads into the pitch-black kitchen for a midnight snack.

He opens the refrigerator door, and peeks inside.

"**Where the hell is my food?!?"** Bowser says in disbelief as his fridge was completely cleaned out.

Bowser then heard the sound of munching nearby. He flips on the kitchen light, and sees Peach sitting at the table with a huge spread of food that she was mowing down like no tomorrow.

"**First my TV, now my food?!!?"** Bowser says in anger, stepping forth to reclaim his food, only to slip on some mayonnaise Peach dripped on the floor, causing Bowser to fall flat onto his face.

"…**You need tastier food,"** Peach simply states as she continues eating his food, letting out a loud burp shortly after.

**Bowser's Bedroom**  
**2:58 AM**

The now hungry, hurt, and irritated Bowser decides to get a little sleep before his bout with Mario at the crack of dawn. He steps into his dark bedroom and slips into his bed, getting cozy as he begins to drift to sleep.

…But then he heard talking…

…Not from one person…but from three.

"_**Like, Mario is so hot! His brother Luigi is pretty cute too!"**_

Bowser turns on his lamp.

Sitting criss-crossed next to him was Peach and her close friends: Daisy and Toadette, sitting in a circle on his bed chatting about guys while looking at magazines.

"…**WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?" **Bowser roars to the girls.

"**Hey, keep it down, will you? This is a private party, so beat it, no lizards allowed!"** Peach snaps back at Bowser.

"**But…but!!!"** Bowser stammers as he is then ushered out of his bedroom by Toadette, and then locked out for the night.

Bowser was on the verge of crying out of frustration as he heads to the nearest couch to lie down for the while.

**Bowser's Sitting Room**  
**6:40 AM**

Browser wakes up at the crack of dawn to the light shining through his window. Slowly rising from his couch, the tired and sore Bowser stretches his arms.

However, something wasn't right…

…he smelled paint.

Deciding to investigate, Bowser gets up and slowly exits his sitting room…

and steps out into the hall.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" **Bowser screams as he stares at his walls and ceiling, which was completely painted in hot pink.

Peach walks up to him moments later and stands next to him to obverse her work.

"**I hope you don't mind, I maxed out your card buying this paint to fix up this tacky place,"** she says to him.

Bowser was now twitching about to go into meltdown mode.

The doorbell then rang.

Bowser somehow manages to snap himself out of it to go and answer it.

He opens the door, and standing there was Mario.

"**Okay-a Bowser! Hand over the princess or we-a gonna fight!"** Mario says to him, putting up his dukes,

Wasting no time at all, Bowser turns around and grabs the princess, literally tossing her at Mario.

"**HERE, TAKE THAT BITCH AND GET OUTTA MY SIGHT!!!"** Bowser yells as he then slams his door shut.

Mario helps Peach to her feet and looks at her in confusion on why Bowser was acting that way.

Peach merely smiles innocently, pretending not to know either.

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**The End!**

**Tell me what you think! Please review!!!**


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